Javier Hernandez: The Master Poacher

 

Ever since he's signed for the Red Devils in the summer, Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez has been making quite an impact at Old Trafford. Not only is he a great impact sub, but from my point of view, he's the clinical poacher. He's always at the right place and at the right time, ready to slot the ball into the back of the net. He's one of the best "third" choice strikers in the Premier League, but has recently been taking out-of-form Dimitar Berbatov's spot in the first team. In fact, as an Arsenal fan, I am a bit jealous of just how great of a signing Chicharito is. 

At the beginning of this Premier League season, Arsenal's new signing, Marouane Chamakh seemed like a starlet, and Van Persie's injury was almost forgotten. But recently, he's been out of form with the return of RVP from injury, and hasn't been able to replicate his early season form. But with Hernandez, it's the exact opposite. He's been strong since the beginning of the season, scoring crucial goals, even if some of them seem to be "cherry picked" as in he simply waited for an easy chance. In fact, this weekend when he played for Mexico, his two goals were from those types of situations. 

Despite being criticized by some for this playing style, he's something that most teams lack. When in a great chance to score, he doesn't try to play it, making situations more complicated. He simply tries to put the ball wear it belongs, in the opposition's net. With more playing time and experience, he could become one of the Premier League's best strikers in time, adding other skills to his cabinet. So, Sir Alex Ferguson, don't let this one go. Make him another Rooney, just without the prostitute-solicitation-while-having-a-pregnant-wife part.

Van Persie Should be Arsenal Captain

Sure, Cesc Fabregas is one of the best, if not the best, players at Arsenal. But, I don't think that means that he should be captain. They need someone who has passion for the club, and is not afraid to speak his mind about other teams and go up and yell in the referees face, hoping to influence his decision. Recently, Van Persie has shown that he has the guts to speak up, saying:

"Barca are a great team, but they shouldn’t overdo the moaning as they become b****y annoying. They dispute every decision, with five  players confronting the referee. I like their style of play, but find them unsporting as well."

Also, his thoughts on Chelsea and Man City: "I still strongly believe in my club's philosophy.
A club like Manchester City change their philosophy every year and Chelsea spent about €80m this season ... two clubs who had a big mouth before the season, thinking that Arsenal wouldn't play a role in the title race but we are still ahead of them. And just by playing our own game, through our own philosophy."

This is the kind of talk that the Gunners need. This man is what the Gunners need. The Flying Dutchman.

Manuel Almunia: The Clown

 

I'll be honest, I used to feel bad for the guy. He got so much stick for all of his mistakes, yet being completely ignored when he actually did shine on the rare occasion. For some time, I understood why Wenger kept giving him chances. After all, at that time, Lukasz "Flappy-hand-ski" Fabianski was the second choice at that time. I understood everything, up until last week's game against West Bromwich Albion. It was his chance to shine after both of Arsenal's in-form Polish keepers, Szczesny and Fabianski, were both injured. And... he screwed up. Majorly.

After a long ball was played, it seemed like Sebastien Squillaci was going to deal with it. But, with his absolutely brilliant thinking, Almunia comes waaaaaay out of his box in an attempt to clear the ball. He didn't even get close, and even pushed Squillaci when he tried to chase the ball. The idiotic mistake cost Arsenal a possibly title deciding two points. And also, some blame was put on Almunia for West Brom's first goal, but I think the second was enough to show just how bad Almunia's judgment really is. How could this man have ever been trusted as the Gunners' number one keeper? It seems like sometimes he actually TRIES to make Arsenal lose, like some sort of double agent for Manchester United.

Granted, he is actually a wonderful shot-stopper. As evidenced by his performance against Barcelona in the 09-10 Champions' League Quarter-final. For the first 20 minutes of the match, he stood his ground and kept out shot after Barca shot to help Arsenal earn a 2-2 draw against the best team in the world. That day was definitely the highest moment of his career. However, being a great shot-blocker doesn't necessarily make you a great keeper. Well, maybe in gym class football. It also takes timing, and knowledge of when to come out or stay in your box. That, sadly, is where Manuel suffers. I'm always worried when Arsenal has to defend a set-piece with Almunia in goal, knowing that there is a great chance of him doing something stupid.

So, with that, I want to make a plea. PLEASE Arsene Wenger, sell the man. Send him back to some place in Spain, where he came from. He could be a useful asset for a relegation-battle team, but not a club that regularly challenges for the title. Keep the two Poles in goal as the first choice keepers. They have both been in amazing form recently, and deserve to stay at a club of Arsenal's stature, unlike Almunia. With the rise of Szczesny and Fabianski, Arsenal's goalkeeping woes have been solved. There's no room for this fool and his screw-ups.

Mario Balotelli: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

Without a shadow of a doubt, Mario Balotelli is one of the best young players in the world. No question. Some have even said that thanks to his clinical finishing, he could become the next Thierry Henry. But, the fact that he's a bit, what's the word.... stupid, doesn't help him win fans. During his tenure at Inter Milan, he caused controversy many times, particularly with two incidents. First, he stupidly wore a jersey of Inter's arch rivals, AC Milan, on live television to please a reporter. Despite being criticized hugely for that, he didn't learn his lesson. After Inter's victory over Barca, instead of celebrating with his teammates, he rage-quit his shirt, throwing it on the ground in frustration of the Inter fans who booed him throughout the match. I'm guessing that it wasn't a sad sight for the Italian fans to see him go to Manchester City. 

After having earned a reputation as a “bad boy” at Milan, it was the hope of many Man City fans that he would leave that behavior in Italy, and became the favorite of Manchester. To their disappointment, it didn't work out that way. After winning the Golden Boy Award for the best young player in the Premier League, he compared himself to Lionel Messi, and said that he hadn't heard of Arsenal's wonderboy Jack Wilshere, and that he'll rub it in Jack's face the next time they play. Quite ironically, Arsenal dominated the next game, allowing the Citizens no shots on goal. At all. And Balotelli didn't play a single minute, while Wilshere played 81 minutes. I bet he's really regretting saying that now, as Jack has been performing wonderfully this whole season, and I believe that he is truly better than Balotelli. 

And, it didn't even end there. Being down 2-0 on aggregate to Dynamo Kiev, Manchester City had to win 3-0 at home to insure their entrance into the next round of the Europa League. Being on a yellow card, with the game tied 0-0, Mario decided to ninja-kick Goran Popov in the chest, like his teammate Nigel De Jong did in the last World Cup. He got his second yellow card, and got his marching orders, putting the Citizens on 10 man. What was the point of doing that? Who knows. It's like he wanted his team to lose. He wasted a must-score chance from inside the six yard box early on in the game, and then virtually ended City's chance of going on in the cup with his red card. So, what has he shown the world of football? That he can't control himself, whether it be tackles, or showing sportsmanship.

Despite being one of the best young stars in the Premier League, Balotelli lacks what is required of a true superstar. He's still only 20, which gives him many years to become a true wonderful football player. His arrogance of not celebrating his goals shows just how full of himself he is. How can people tell that he loves playing if he doesn't even love scoring. Sorry Mario, you're quite good, but not Thierry Henry good.

But, I do want this pretty cool hat that he has.